wanna go steady?

Dating in New York City is as common as hopping in a cab or taking the train. Often times, it can be uncomfortable, long, and bumpy. Other times, it can be pleasant, lovely, and romantic depending on who you’re sharing the ride with. This city is a town of married folks: people married to their jobs, married to their spouse, married to their favorite Italian restaurant, married to the idea of being single in a city where everything is at your fingertips. Nobody in New York is single or at least altogether single, especially the twenty to thirty something successful suitors. The cute guy with the freshly brewed coffee and newspaper in hand hailing a cab is married. Married to his seventy hour work week that promises to provide him the wealth and status he’s always dreamed of. The sweet smile you exchange with the stranger on the subway is the guy who commutes from his beautiful New Jersey home where his wife, two children, and labrador retriever reside. The handsome gentleman at happy hour with the perfect smile and all the right words is married, alright. Married to his single life. Absolutely no cheating. He is fully committed to being single. I won't just pick on the boys. Women in New York are similar in nature. We may not admit it, but we are married to our independence, our success, and the idea of being in love. Keyword: “idea.” We say we want the relationship, the romantic walks through the park, the butterflies. But when it's there in plain sight, are we willing to slightly readjust our lifestyle in order to make room for someone who may be the man of our dreams? You eventually get to a point in your life when you realize that you’re no longer dating just to have fun. It may be time to get serious and really focus on what's important in life. Your profession. Your partner. Or both. Priorities.

Dating can be painful similar to applying for a job. Making the initial contact. Impatiently waiting for the call back and going in for that killer interview. You do your research before the big day. Google, facebook, twitter to find out all the essential information you need in order to be fully prepared for what could potentially be your future career. You look presentable, sit up straight, act like you’re paying attention, and you sell the shit out of yourself. You say and do all the right things to land that job. Firm hand shake. Eye contact. Lots of nods, smiles, and internal dialogue. You're on your best behavior. The effort you put in all depends on how bad you want the job or how long you’ve been unemployed. Regardless of whether or not you want it, it’s the thought of not getting it. Right? You lose. You go home. Essentially, alone. Like any job interview, your take on it is sometimes one sided. You walk away thinking, “Wow, that was great.” You were charming, interesting, and blew all other candidates out of the water. You were eager, but not too eager. You were talkative, but not too talkative. You spoke about your previous experience, but didn’t badmouth past employers. All you want to hear are those three little words all of us want to hear, "You are hired!" You follow up like any normal job seeking person would do. Wait by the phone. Send out a "nice meeting you, thank you" e-mail. Follow up one last time to see if the position is still available. No response. First, denial. Then, disappointment.

Dating isn't as easy as those online dating commercials make it seem. It's tough. It's hard. It can be fun and exciting, but it's one of those things you need to keep doing over and over again until you can perfect your pitch and find the perfect fit. The kind of job that will be long term and steady. One with a big, bright future and hopefully stock options.