Waiting for the wink…
“So, how did you two lovebirds meet?”
“We met online.”
“You met online?” How anti-climactic.
Pre-meditated. Planned. Inorganic. There’s nothing romantic about meeting your “match,” the apple of your eye, the person you plan to grow old with on the internets. You already know who they are, what they do, and all the information they choose to disclose is in plain site plastered on their profile. All the essential information except for their social security number is accessible with one click of a button without ever actually meeting the person. No anonymity. No mystery. Weird? I think so.
There are several things one must think of when consciously choosing to display their desperation on one of these sites. For instance, what if the person you agree to go out on a date with doesn’t look like their picture? You show up to, I’m hoping, a safe, public place and surprise! Short, bald, and fat. Your worst nightmare standing before you. “I took that photo from the waist up five years ago when I was 20 pounds lighter and had a full head of hair.”
These matchmaking meat markets create these false hopes for people who are “looking to find love.” They’re, surprisingly, socially acceptable. In fact, they’re encouraged. You have options. Many options. But are they quality people? Are they really who they say they are and are they really looking to find love or get laid? You could be sipping on cocktails and sharing appetizers with a crazy ax murderer and you would never know it. No psych evals. No background checks. Nothing. You are potentially jeopardizing your safety and well-being by uploading your sexiest picture, publicizing your profile, and putting your single status on display for everyone to see. Your future and fate is in the hands of these date site admins. What kind of expertise do these people really have?
Is that what’s fundamentally wrong with these dating sites? The flaw? No screening process. All crazies welcome as long as you have a valid credit card and photo i.d. I think dateline should do some investigating. Maybe throw Chris Hansen in the mix.
Truth be told, I’ve never actually been on one of these sites so who am I to judge. I know of several happy endings based on this modern form of dating. Dating is difficult and time consuming. Agreed. Going online and finding that person is much easier than going on endless dates. But at the end of the day, meeting someone on a dating site isn't for me. I’m a hopeless romantic. That first encounter. That first conversation. That excitement you feel when your eyes meet. It’s magical and cannot be planned.
Most people fall in love with the idea of love. The romance of it all. This, sometimes, false sense of reality has been ingrained in our minds through film, television, and music. Love Actually, Falling In Love, Love Story, A Lot Like Love, P.S. I Love You, and most recently Love and Other Drugs. The list goes on and on.
Even my mother has been hinting at it…
“So, do you have any special friends in NY?”
Special friends? Is that what they’re calling it these days?
“No, mom. No special friends. I want to establish my career, travel, and then settle down.”
“Okay honey. Whatever you think is right.”
What she's really thinking is, you’re getting old. I want grandkids. Hurry up already.
When did all the pressure to settle down, get married, have kids all before the age of thirty sneak up on me? That’s a lot to ask for, don’t you think? What about being successful, independent in your own right, traveling? Aren’t those equally important? Finding love along the way is ideal, but is it realistic? I’ve always been too focused on me. Selfish? perhaps. But I don’t see it that way. In order to be in a solid, happy, and healthy relationship you need to be happy with yourself, your life, your accomplishments. Once you reach that point, you can share it with the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. Someone who is your equal.
Most people settle. They settle for someone who is “good enough” for the sake of being in a relationship. For the sake of not being alone. For the sake of not being pegged the dreaded, single. Is good enough really enough? Absolutely not. Not for me.
